DA
TUNEUP
If
you are in any way offended by the inside of the Workshoppe, the I suggest
you Thank you!
*LOL*
Da Panic Mechanic *LOL*
Bullshit
might get you to the top
Why
Chocolate is better than sex
The
bigger they are, the dumber they are
The
Pope
Adam's
Price
Tasteless
Da
Workshoppe
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A
pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull. " I would
love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree,"
sighed the pheasant, " but I haven't got the energy "
"
Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
replied the bull. " They're packed with nutrients "
The
pheasant pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave
him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next
day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
And so on.
Finally
after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. Whereupon he was spotted by a farmer who dashed into the farmhouse,emerged
with a shotgun, and shot the pheasant right out of the
tree.
Moral
of the Story:
Bullshit
might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there
Back
to the Top
Why
Chocolate Is Better Than Sex
--------------------------------
1. You can
GET chocolate.
2. "If you
love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning
with chocolate.
3. Chocolate
satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4. You can
safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5. You can
make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6. You can
have chocolate in front of your grandma.
7. If you
bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
8. Two people
of the same sex can have chocolate without being called
nasty names.
9. The word
"commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10. You can have
chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working
hours without
upsetting your work mates.
Back
to the Top
Two
parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The
father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in
the water.
The
son comes running up to his mom and says..." Mommy, I saw ladies
with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says..." the bigger
they are, the dumber they are."
So
he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back
and says..." Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than
Daddy's!"
The
mom says... " the bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So
he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back
and says..." Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I
ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he
got !"
Back
to the Top
The
Pope was riding around New York City in a limo on one of his papal
visits. He was fascinated by the amount of hustle and bustle in the
city.
He
got it in his mind that he wanted to drive the limo...
Pope:
" Driver, could you please pull over? I want to drive "
Driver:
" O.K. your holiness...whatever you say ".
So
the driver pulls over and the Pope starts to drive. He got the
Hang of it before long, and decided to put the pedal to the metal.
A few minutes later, a police
officer signals the limo to pull over...
Officer:
" License and reg.." (sees that it's the Pope). " Oh,
well....um...let me radio headquarters...um...I'll
be right back "
The
officer radios headquarters....
Officer:
" Chief, I just pulled over a very important man. What should
I
do?"
Chief:
" Well, how important is he? Is he a Governor?"
Officer:
" No, he's more important than that."
Chief:"
Is he a Congressman?"
Officer:"
Nope...more important than a Congressman."
Chief:
" Surely he can't be more important than the president!"
Officer:
" Well..."
Chief:
" Good Heavens!! Who did you pull over???"
Officer:
" I dunno who the hell he is, but he's got the Pope driving
him around!!""
Back
to the Top
Adam's
Price
So...after
Adam was created, there he was in the Garden of Eden. Of course it wasn't
good for him to be all by himself, so the
Lord
came down to visit. " Adam," He said, "I have a plan to make you much,
much happier. I'm going to give you a companion,
a help meet for you -- someone who will fulfill your every need and desire.
Someone who will be faithful, loving, and
obedient. Someone who will make you feel wonderful every day of your life."
Adam
was stunned. "That's sounds incredible!"
"Well,
it is," replied the Lord."But it doesn't come for free. In fact, this is
someone so special that it's going to cost you an arm
and
a leg."
"That's
a pretty high price to pay," said Adam. "What can I get for a rib?"
Back
to the Top
The
following are a collection of tasteless jokes that I received, don't know
where it came from
*Where
did the Challenger crew take their vacation?
All
over Florida
*What
kind of wood doesn't float?
Natalie
Wood
*Natalie
Wood did not shower the day of her death. Her reason?
She
wanted to wash up later on the beach
*Why
did Jessica Savitch's car sink to the bottom of the canal with her
in it?
She
was the anchor-woman
Back
to the top
Da
Workshoppe
DA
OWNER | DA FINE TUNING |
DA TUNEUP| DA MAJOR SERVICE| DA
CARWASH | DA LINKS l
DA SHOWROOM
EMAIL
DA PANIC MECHANIC | DA
FRIENDS' TUNEUP CENTERS l DA MIDIS | DA
WAV'S | DA HOMEGROUND l
Da
Jokes~1 | Da Jokes~2 | Da
Jokes~3 | Da Jokes~4 Da
Jokes~5 | Da Jokes~6 | Da
Jokes~7
SIGN
DA GUESTBOOK *
VIEW DA GUESTBOOK
Free
Homepage Space Sponsored by Fortune City